


Angel

by CandYMatoki



Series: NaNoWriMo 2019 [2]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Asexual Character, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Bonding, Pack Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-11-26 22:57:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20938142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandYMatoki/pseuds/CandYMatoki
Summary: Youngjae was never a part of his pack. He had his heats, but because he didn't release pheromones, nobody believed him. They said that he was faking it, or if they believed him, that he was broken.





	1. Chapter 1

Youngjae was waiting by the fire pit, sharpening knives. It was inconspicuous, he sat here almost every day. He didn’t want to go hunting and nobody wanted him to do the omega jobs, so he sat in the middle of the pack’s fire pit and sharpened knives in silence. The benign task like that somehow always found their way to him. Sometimes a beta would join him, or a few, but not many people liked to be around him.

He’d grown up in a pack, popular. He ran around with his packmates and all of them laughed and had fun. As they got older and closer to age, they naturally began to separate into groups, assumed groups seeing as they hadn’t presented yet. The soon-to-be alphas formed their own clique, as did the soon-to-be omegas. The betas were the ones left over. Youngjae had gravitated towards the omegas, that’s how he had felt.

But when his first heat hit, there were no pheromones or slick. But there was no knot either. Everyone assumed he was faking the symptoms, trying to convince pack leaders that he was an omega, just so that he could get a better alpha mate or get closer to omegas that he wanted to fuck. They were used to Youngjae’s trickery and assumed that he had tried to pull one on them again. But it wasn’t true. Youngjae felt all the effects of a heat, he’d been told what to expect beforehand, but there was no slick, no pheromone release, he didn’t even get hard. And so, he became a beta.

So he stayed to himself, nobody wanted to be around him. They thought it was sick how he was still trying to convince people that he was an omega, when he clearly wasn’t in their eyes. So he gave up, and stayed on his own. He let the pack operate around him, not with him, but around. He carried his own weight and they let him stay, some kind of loyalty for someone who hadn’t even originally belonged in their pack. So he sharpened knives and stayed home. He wouldn’t go out with the hunting party, they would either ignore him or beat him, and the omegas were equally as unwelcoming.

But today, he was waiting. He was vigilant, looking around the space every so often, glancing at all of the small houses that surrounded the pack fire pit. He especially watched the pack alpha’s house, the biggest one, obviously the most important place in the community. He was waiting for a sign. He scanned the area, keeping a watch on all the other people sitting outside and doing work as well. It was only the alphas out hunting today, so most of the betas, a few alphas who had been left behind, and all the omegas were around the yard. Some working inside, but many enjoying the air just like Youngjae.

He put one knife down, next to a collection of others that he’d been sharpening. He moved onto the next. They were small knives, good for cutting up game and for cooking. They’d been getting too dull to be useful anymore, so Youngjae had grabbed all he could find and took them outside with him. He was sure that he’d have more of a use for them than anyone else soon enough.

He saw the sign.

It was Yongguk, one of the stronger alphas in the pack, coming out of the pack alpha’s house, Himchan following behind. The pair of alphas exuded strength and power in every move they made. Yongguk came out, holding something in his hand with a tight grasp. The entire yard shifted their attention to him once they caught scent of the blood. They looked down at what he was holding as he raised his prize up to the sky.

In his hand was the sign Youngjae had been waiting for. The pack alpha, dead and decapitated.

Youngjae was overwhelmed at the sight. His body wanted to double over in disgust seeing the head on its own, not body in sight. But he couldn’t look away from it at the same time, the violence of the action drew him in, it was enticing. Knowing about the pack alpha’s ways, he wanted to smile knowing his painful demise, but seeing that kind of cruelty in himself only make Youngjae feel sicker. Youngjae thought he was prepared for the sight, knowing it was coming weeks ahead, he thought that it would feel differently.

It took a second for the courtyard to understand what they were looking at, and when they did the place dissolved into chaos, everyone jumping into action at once. Youngjae grabbed all his knives and ran to hide, just as everyone else started running and screaming. But Youngjae ran in between two buildings and braced himself up against the side of one. He couldn’t be associated with the two alphas if they failed, but he had to wait for them to succeed first before he joined them.

He understood what it meant when the shrill screams from the yard behind him fell silent. He understood what happened to those that froze in fear instead of fleeing. No one left behind was strong enough to fight the two alphas. The omegas never learned how to fight, the betas rarely knew much at all, and all the alphas left behind were in bad condition.

He wasn’t supposed to know the alphas’ plan, but Youngjae was good at knowing things he wasn’t meant to know. He overheard bits and pieces and put it all together. A word caught through a window, another when Youngjae was out collecting water and just managed to overhear a conversation deep in the woods. He bided his time, waiting for the two alphas to make their move with nervous anticipation.

A beta ran past him, aiming for the woods, running off to alert the alphas away on a hunt. Youngjae saw and didn’t think, he grabbed his knife by the blade and threw. He looked away in shock when the body fell. He shut his eyes, he couldn’t handle it. He didn’t know why he threw the knife. It wasn’t out of self-preservation, so then what part of him wanted that beta dead?

The sounds from the clearing floated over to him, the sounds of a massacre. Nobody stood a chance against the two alphas, they were caught by surprise, had no weapons, and no alphas strong enough to defend them. They were weak. The pack had become weak. Youngjae flinched at the screams, the sounds of bodies falling to the ground. He heard doors being pulled open, people dragged out and either sent running for their lives or killed on the spot. It was violent, and Youngjae had grown up knowing peace.

A hand closed around his upper arm and his eyes snapped open, tears he’d been unaware of clouding his sight for a moment. He let the hand pull him out of his hiding spot and looked up at Himchan, no recognition flashing between the two, they’d never interacted before. Himchan had a machete in his hand and raised it up. Youngjae’s mouth went dry, he tried to remember all the words he’d planned to say, how he was on their side, that he wanted the pack dead too. But no words came out of his mouth.

Just as Himchan was bringing his arm down, a hand caught him. Yongguk.

“Wait. Look.” Yongguk spoke and pointed over in between the houses. He pointed to the beta lying on the ground, a knife solidly sticking out of his back. Himchan lowered his arm, looking at the collection of knives still in Youngjae’s hands.

“Drop the knives.” Himchan ordered and Youngjae obeyed instantly, throwing them off to the side on the ground. “You killed him?” He asked.

Youngjae looked around at the clearing, the place that had been full of people just moments before. Now it was splattered with blood, bodies lifeless throughout, their eyes still frozen open. He averted his eyes from it all, looking instead at Yongguk. “I think so.” He finally answered, his voice shook and Youngjae couldn’t stop it. If he was shaking it was all out of his control.

“Why? Why did you kill him.” Himchan shook his arm as he questioned, trying to get him to answer faster.

“Because… I wanted him dead?” Youngjae answered cautiously, eyes still out of focus from the shock of the clearing. He’d known it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Himchan spun him around so that he was forced to look out at the clearing full of the bodies of people he’d grown up with. “Look. You wanted this? You wanted all of them dead?” He spoke aggressively in his ear, testing Youngjae. Youngjae forced himself to look out at the clearing. Was this really what he wanted? His heart screamed that killing was wrong, but his rational knew that they deserved it.

The pack had become to strong, enough that it got careless and drunk with it’s power. They abandoned the conventions of humanity for the cruelty of animal nature, but they kept it hidden. Their fall from grace had been quick and easy but undetectable. The pack was living lies as the upstanding representation of humanity when they were rotting underneath.

“They didn’t believe me. I said it hurt and they didn’t believe me.” Youngjae whispered, his resolve strengthening. “They said that I was fake, that I had no place here. They deserved it, they deserved it all.” Youngjae took a breath, his voice stronger now. “I knew about it all. About the murdering and pillaging, how pack alpha raped all the omegas whenever he wanted, how his own mate despised him. How he had that concubine locked up in his basement.” Yongguk and Himchan gave each other a look as Youngjae’s voice got stronger and more volatile. “I knew about the female alpha they killed. They said she died in her first heat, but as soon as they smelled the pheromones, they tore her to shreds.” Youngjae spun around, Himchan letting him go in shock, and he faced the two alphas. “I knew what you were planning, and I waited, excited to see his head off of his shoulders.”

Youngjae was smiling now, he didn’t care about the dead pack in the background. He remembered all the things he’d been told to keep silent about, all the things he shouldn’t have seen or shouldn’t have heard. He remembered how every last member of the pack had a dark black heart, one that was shriveled up and covered in poison. They deserved it.

Himchan looked to Yongguk for guidance. Yongguk leaned down and picked up one of Youngjae’s dropped knives. He threw it in the air, catching it lightly by the handle and offered it to Youngjae. “What’s your name?”

“Youngjae, I’m an omega.” He took the handle offered.

“Ah, so you’re the one they were talking about.” Himchan said.

“Whatever they said, they’re wrong!” Youngjae snapped at the alpha, worried that they wouldn’t believe him. Himchan immediately backed up, his face clearly showing that he had meant nothing maliciously.

“Well, omega, do you know how to light a fire?” Yongguk slipped in the term flawlessly, surprising and comforting Youngjae to know that they wouldn’t doubt him.

Youngjae nodded, slightly confused, of course he knew how to light a fire.

“Then let’s burn this hellhole to the ground.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original story is copyright 2019, all rights reserved


	2. Chapter 2

They had run after that, the three of them. Two alphas and a faulty omega, on the run. They’d burned the entire compound to the ground, nothing left but ash. The alphas that had been out on hunt didn’t dare come back. They knew there was nothing left for them. The three ran for days, making their way silently through territories of other packs, trying to find anywhere they could stay. Each night they slept out under the stars, lying there and understanding what freedom feels like, what life could be like. 

Yongguk became their pack alpha of sorts, that is if the small group could be defined as a pack. Himchan followed his lead, and Youngjae followed his. Yongguk was a man of few words, so the other two made up for it. Youngjae and Himchan fell into a pattern of bickering and talking, the only things able to stop them was Yongguk, who would cut them off with a wave of the hand when hunting. They all became intune with each other, understanding body language and other small cues. 

Youngjae taught them knife throwing, and they showed him how to grapple. Wrestling was fun, he and Himchan would start seriously, then by the end they’d be rolling around on the ground laughing. It was freeing, he felt stronger than ever before. He was constantly sore in at least one part of his body. One day it was legs from walking, the next it was his back from Yongguk throwing him to the ground in a difficult move he showed him the day before. 

Himchan cut his finger on one of Youngjae’s knives when he was preparing dinner and Youngjae didn’t hesitate to take the finger into his mouth, sucking the blood off. Yongguk watched them from across the campfire, and all Himchan did was suck in a sharp breath. But after that it was over, the moment passed. Himchan continued making dinner and Youngjae went back to his knives. It was as if the action was normal for them, or at least becoming normal.

There were times when they were chased out of territory they passed through, groups of angry alphas running at them, and they just laughed and ran along. They were smart and fast, the three of them. They would trick the alphas into making wrong turns, purposefully hiding their scents, and bolting at just the right moment so that they weren’t caught. It was a game, a dangerous game. 

It was a month of travelling before Youngjae felt the itch up his spine. He counted back the days and weeks and it all lined up. He asked Yongguk around the fire that night about when they would settle down. Both he and Himchan looked up from their food at that, then looking across at Youngjae. 

“I’m trying to find some open territory, why?” Yongguk looked suspicious.

“My heat hits soon, and I won’t be able to travel.” 

Both Yongguk and Himchan’s faces showed that they had forgotten that he was an omega. They hadn’t exactly assumed that he was a beta, but just forgotten about secondary genders overall. They’d been busy enjoying their freedom, too much so to remember biology.

“You have heats?” Himchan asked.

“Dry ones.” Youngjae answered. Himchan cringed, even that short description made it sound too painful to fake. 

“What do you need during it?” Yongguk asked.

“Whatever you want to give me.” Youngjae wasn’t sure what Yongguk as asking, so he just went for what he’d been taught as an unpresented omega all those years ago. 

“No. It’s not about what we want, the heat is about what you want.” Yongguk brushed aside Youngjae’s answer. “We’re pack now, we have to take care of each other. We have a responsibility to you on your heats, just as you have a responsibility to us on our ruts. So what do you want from us?”

Youngjae looked at both of them. They were waiting for his answer sincerely, they legitimately wanted to know what he wanted, what he needed. His voice was caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to answer. He hadn’t really thought about it before, he’d never been satisfied, so he didn’t know what would help him. Instead of answering, he looked back down at his food and went back to eating. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Yongguk and Himchan return to eating. The subject was dropped for now. He didn’t have to have an answer, he didn’t have to know what he wanted. 

The next day, Yongguk’s pace had picked up. They stopped for breaks less, he started smelling the air more. He finally seemed to be looking for something. Both he and Himchan seemed to be more serious, more on edge. The fooling around decreased. Every day that passed everyone seemed to become more serious and worried. Himchan started checking in with Youngjae often, asking him how he was feeling. There were hurried whispers between the two alphas, both of them worried and wondering what they could do if they didn’t find safe territory in time. 

Youngjae let them have their secret conversations. He understood the danger of him being in heat. Even if he didn’t release pheromones, he was still bedridden for days, and the three of them couldn’t afford to stay in the same place for that long. There would be some hard decisions if they couldn’t find a place in time. 

It took a little less than a week before Youngjae made his first stumble. Both the alphas were so attuned to him at that point, already stressed, that they both noticed right away and were at his side within seconds. Each one took a hold of an arm and looked at his face with worry.

“I’m fine.” Youngjae tried to assure them, standing up straight again. They let go of his arms slightly to see if he could stand. Youngjae tried his best, but his head felt fuzzy suddenly and he didn’t even realize that he was falling until Himchan caught him. 

“Yongguk.” Himchan growled at the older, anger clear in his voice. “We need a place to stay. Now.” 

Yongguk stayed standing while Himchan maneuvered both himself and Youngjae to be sitting on the ground. Yongguk was scanning the area around them, looking panicked. Himchan brought his hand to Youngjae’s sweaty forehead. Youngjae didn’t understand why he was sweating so much or why his head felt so fuzzy.

“Yongguk, he’s burning up.” Himchan’s voice was laced with concern. Yongguk still didn’t look down at him or answer, scanning the area. 

Part of Youngjae’s brain belatedly suggested that it might be the heat clouding everything, but it was such a far away thought that Youngjae hardly took notice. 

“Yongguk!” Himchan yelled at the elder, snapping him out of his trance of sorts. Yongguk finally looked down at Himchan and Youngjae and saw that state that the omega was in. In just a small amount of time, he’d started sweating and his breathing was faster, his eyes dilated. Youngjae was not in the state to do anything, move the least of all those things. 

“Stay here. I’ll be back before dark with a solution.” Yongguk started to head off into the forest.

“Yongguk, we’re not in neutral territory!” Himchan stopped him. Yongguk paused, then turned around and left him with his last instructions.

“Hide, and stay quiet.” The alpha turned around and ran into the forest. 

Himchan looked down at the boy cradled in his chest and brushed his hair off of his forehead. “Youngjae, what have we gotten ourselves into?” Himchan muttered the question to no one. 

After a minute or so, Himchan rearranged Youngjae, so that he had a hand underneath the younger’s shoulder, and an arm under his knees. Himchan then stood up, carrying Youngjae in his arms. The omega curled into Himchan’s chest, despite burning up, he still craved more warmth. 

Himchan carried the omega towards a collection of trees about forty feet away. They needed more forest cover to stay hidden for the entire day. Once they got there, Himchan put Youngjae down, propping him up against a tree for now. He kept an eye on the omega as he gathered together branches and leaves. First he went back to where they had been and erased their tracks, so that it anyone passed by they wouldn’t find them. The he propped larger sticks up against two trees. On top of those he put branches that still have leaves on them to hide them from view. Underneath the lean-to he stashed bunches and bunches of leaves. It didn’t matter how dirty they got, all that mattered what Youngjae’s comfort. 

After it was built he maneuvered Youngjae inside then walked around the outside of his makeshift shelter making sure that Youngjae was well hidden. Then he climbed in himself, lying down next to Youngjae under the low branches. He shifted them both around so that he was lying on his side, slightly on top of Youngjae, the other flat on his back. It was a protective stance. 

Himchan whispered into Youngjae’s ear, “If there’s anything you want or need, tell me.” Youngjae wasn’t aware of himself enough to respond, he would be fading in and out for the next few days. Himchan tightened his hand around Youngjae’s hip and held him close. It hurt him to see the younger man so disconnected from the world around him. 

He looked at Youngjae, noting the obvious differences between him and typical omegas. No enticing smell was filling the air, only the smell of sweat. There was no hint of slick, so Himchan doubted that there was any but didn’t dare betray Youngjae’s space by trying to find out. What was more surprising was that Youngjae wasn’t even aroused, he just looked like he’d come down with a bad fever. 

Every so often Youngjae would whimper and Himchan would lightly shush him and go back to rubbing circles on his skin or petting his hair. It wasn’t until a little past noon that Youngjae looked slightly conscious. Himchan picked up on the change in Youngjae’s eyes immediately. His pupils contracted and he looked partially aware of his surroundings. That was when he burst into tears.

“I’m so sorry.” Any other apology that Youngjae said was lost in incoherency as he used his hands to cover his face. He was filled with guilt. He never wanted this to happen, for his heat to hit before they settled down.

“Shh, honey, it’s not your fault. Yongguk’s taking care of it. We’ll all be okay, trust me.” Himchan had no assurances, but lied to help calm the omega down. They had to stay quiet. 

“I’m sorry, it just hurts so much…” Youngjae was crying not out of an apology, but just from the pain that had been consuming him for hours. Himchan pulled him closer to try and comfort him. “I just want it to stop…” He sobbed.

“I have an idea if you’d let me.” Himchan whispered hoping to coax the man to speaking softer as well.

“What?” Youngjae’s voice broke as he spoke, hands wiping tears out of his eyes. 

“Let me pleasure you.” Himchan suggested it, making sure to leave lots of space for Youngjae to refuse. The younger froze.

“I’ve never…” Youngjae looked scared for a second.

“This isn’t for me. I’ll stop anytime you want me to. I’ll only touch you, on the outside.” Himchan was careful to clarify. 

“You think it will work?” Youngjae looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“I don’t know, but it’s worth a try.” Himchan was honest.

“Okay.” Youngjae looked nervous, but he grabbed Himchan’s hand without fear and pressed it to his crotch, right on top of his soft cock. He never let his eyes leave Himchan’s face, looking up at him with trust. Himchan pressed down. Youngjae’s head tilted back, his eyes closing as he gave in to the sensations. As the omega hardened, his breathing came more rapidly, and sweat started pouring off of him, just like before. 

Himchan watched Youngjae’s body for any signs of discomfort or pain, but unlike earlier in the day, his heat seemed to be less painful with Himchan palming his cock. Youngjae’s hand tightened around Himchan’s, urging him to move faster and press harder. Himchan took that as encouragement, and slipped his hand under Youngjae’s waistband and started pulling at Youngjae’s cock. 

Youngjae’s head rolled further back, exposing his milky smooth neck. It only took a minute before Youngjae was moaning and whimpering, trying to buck up into Himchan’s hand. He was squirming, moving around needing something without knowing what it was. 

Himchan watched Youngjae, pleased by the man’s receptiveness. The pleasure written all over Youngjae’s face was much more preferable to the pain from the last few hours. Himchan felt himself grow in arousal but ignored it. This was for Youngjae, not for him. But still the sounds coming out of Youngjae’s mouth were like music to Himchan’s ears. He’d been with omegas before, but Youngjae was different. Maybe it was because they had a closer bond created over the past month, or maybe Youngjae had just found a way to get under his skin. His alpha preened hearing Youngjae’s moans and whimpers, his chest swelled with pride that he had been the one to coax such beautiful noises out of the omega.

A branch snapped in the distance and Himchan froze, he stopped pumping his hand, all his thoughts zeroed in on the noise just a little ways away. Youngjae’s whimper and aborted movements brought him back to the omega next to him. He shushed the man and realizing that Youngjae was too far gone to have any control over himself, Himchan slid a hand around Youngjae’s head and covered his mouth, blocking any sounds. He pulled his hand out of the younger’s pants as well, removing any stimuli. He held Youngjae tighter to him, trying to restrict any movement that the man tried to make. They had to be completely silent. 

There was talking now in the distance, a group of people. Himchan judged the sounds of footsteps. Three of them. He pressed himself and Youngjae closer to the ground, trying to hide even further.

“You heard about that kid right? The one that killed his entire family.” The first voice spoke, it was deep and strong. Probably an alpha, there wouldn’t be omegas or betas this far out in the territory. 

“Yeah, complete psychopath. What clan was he from again?” A second jumped in, also male.

“Moon, I think.” The first responded.

“I heard they still haven’t caught him.” A third, higher voice added in.

“Well I heard that he killed the parents, but only after they killed the sister.” The second piped up again.

“Still sick though ain’t it?” The first voice was fading, the footsteps getting further away. They must just be passing by.

“Kinda reminds me of the Bang clan. Nobody caught those two murderers yet and people tell lots of stories about them.” Himchan could barely hear what the third said and then the footsteps disappear into the distance again. 

Himchan let out a breathe he didn’t realize he’d been holding. The Bang clan murderers, that what they were calling them. But it seemed that nobody knew about Youngjae, they only heard about him and Yongguk. It was probably for the best. Then the Moon child. He must be on the run, and their territory wasn’t too far from where they were.

Youngjae whined high and loud in his throat and Himchan was grateful that he had remained quiet for this long. Himchan slid his hand from around Youngjae’s mouth, they didn’t have anything to worry about now. Absentmindedly he pushed his hand back into the younger’s pants.

~~~

Youngjae was fast asleep when Yongguk came back, the sun was almost completely down, and it had already started to cool off. A small breeze brought Yongguk’s scent to him, and he shuffled out of his makeshift shelter. After lying down for most of the day, it was hard to get back on his feet. He whistled and Yongguk came over.

“Did you find a place?” Himchan questioned.

Yongguk nodded. “It’s about six miles away, we can get him there by midnight.” Yongguk looked like he’d been hard at work all day. 

“It took you that long to find?” Himchan did the math. Six miles, Yongguk could’ve been there and back in two hours if he’d wanted.

“It took me that long to find a good path.” Himchan finally scanned over Yongguk’s body and saw all the scratches on his arms, he saw the tears in his clothing, the mud and water stains all the way up his legs. 

Himchan nodded, immensely grateful for Yongguk’s dedication. Instead of going back into the lean-to to get Youngjae out, he just took off the branches, some leaves falling down onto Youngjae’s sleeping form. He went in and grabbed Youngjae up in his arms again, bridal style. He then maneuvered the sleeping man so that he was draped across his back, arms on one side, legs on the other. “Lead the way.” 

Yongguk nodded and started heading off into the forest. “You smell different. You both do.” Yongguk said, looking back at Himchan briefly. It was an invitation for Himchan to either explain more or not.

“He was in pain and I thought it would help. I didn’t fuck him if that’s what you’re asking. And I asked him before I did anything.” Himchan responded.

“It’s not a bad smell. It’s kinda nice. Even if he doesn’t have pheromones, he still smells like a happy omega. I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.” Yongguk had been stressed all day trying to find safe territory, but coming back to his new pack and smelling the happiness from both of them released his tension. 

“He’s been repressing everything for a long time because nobody believed him.”

Yongguk hummed in response, then helped Himchan make his way down off of a rock, balancing Youngjae as he went.

“He wasn’t lying. His heats are completely dry. No pheromones, no slick, he wasn’t even hard. It’s like half his body isn’t working the way it’s supposed to.” Himchan kept talking as he walked down, carefully watching his feet. It was harder to see in the dim light, but Himchan’s eyes adjusted fast. 

“I’ve heard about it happening before. Alphas that don’t have knots, men who grow breasts, women with penises. The body acting against expectations.” 

“I remember hearing about him when he presented. Everyone was talking about the beta that was faking being an omega to either steal the eligible alphas or to get closer to and snatch the eligible omegas away from the alphas. Either way, he was faking it. No one believed him. I didn’t pay attention at the time, just assumed they were telling the truth, but I never would’ve guessed.” 

“There was nothing we could’ve done to help him.” Yongguk said.

“No, we could’ve believed him, we could’ve made him feel less alone. We could’ve helped him to trust his own feelings and body. But now, he doesn’t know how to do anything. He was taught to be an omega then thrust into the role of a beta. Now he doesn’t belong in either group. He doesn’t know who he is.” Himchan reprimanded the other alpha.

“You’re not wrong, but it’s not worth it to consider what you could have done differently. We wouldn’t be where we are right now if we didn’t make the choices we made. And I’m not sure about you, but I’m glad that I’m here with the two of you, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

“We’ve only been together for a month, and I already feel more like a pack than I ever did back there.” Himchan looked over at Yongguk, the older man stayed silent. There was an overlaying pressure that overcame the air. The silence felt long. “Yongguk. You need to bond us. I’m not the pack alpha, you are.”

Yongguk sighed and looked down at his feet. “I know.”

“Sex isn’t required to be an alpha.” 

“I know.”

Himchan didn’t push it. The two fell silent for a while. Himchan thanked whatever gods were out there that Youngjae wasn’t particularly heavy. He was also glad that the omega stayed asleep, if he started moving around things would get even more difficult. Every so often Yongguk would turn around and look back, making sure that he didn’t lose Himchan in the dark. 

“A little after noon a scouting group came by our hideout.” Himchan called up to Yongguk, making the man turn around and wait for HImchan to continue, “We stayed hidden, but I overheard some things.”

“Such as?” Yongguk asked as he matched pace with Himchan, walking beside him instead of in front.

“A kid from the moon clan supposedly murdered his parents after they killed his sister. Apparently the kid’s still out there too.” Himchan relayed the information for the elder. 

“You want to find this kid don’t you.” Yongguk saw straight through Himchan’s words.

“I don’t think we’ll need to find him. Once word gets out that we’ve made a pack and have territory, I think he’ll find us.” Himchan had time to think it over throughout the day. It made sense. One lone wolf would be attracted to others like him, those that seem to reflect the same ideas and values. Ones that come from the same violent background.

“So we just have to be prepared for him when he comes.” 

“He’ll need protection and we’ll be the only ones willing to accept him.” Himchan looked over at Yongguk to see him smiling. “What?”

“I don’t know, I just felt so warm all of a sudden. We’ve been on the road for a month, and I just found our territory, Youngjae hit his heat, and you’re talking about making a pack, a family. Everything just seems so surreal. Like how did we get here? How did we start as dissenters and suddenly everything seems to be looking up in the future?” 

“We had courage, that’s what. Courage to act on what’s right, courage to seek the truth no matter how much it hurts.” Himchan wanted to put a hand on Yongguk’s back, a sense of surrealness over taking him as well. He wished Youngjae was awake for this moment, conscious enough to see how far they’d come in such a short time. He wished for all the world to see, for everyone to understand, how they had come to this point and grown beyond all Himchan’s expectations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is meant to breeze through a month of time because I figured that people would want to get to where the other three members come in. Either way I'm planning on writing a companion piece that tells the story of the month of Youngjae, Himchan, and Yongguk travelling. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, I will be updating either every week or every other week, it depends on how crazy my life gets.
> 
> Original story is copyright 2019, all rights reserved


	3. Chapter 3

Youngjae didn’t notice exactly when he came back to consciousness, he only became slowly aware of the world around him. He first heard the sounds of a woodpecker, rhythmically beating on a tree, carving out its home in the hard bark. Further off in the distance was the sound of crows, communicating with each other as they flew through trees, calling out when they had found a suitable meal. There was the rustle of leaves as a wind that never touched Youngjae’s cheek flew through the air. He heard footsteps, far away, someone walking through fallen leaves on the ground. The sound of the leaves was like sifting of shallow water over bare feet, the leaves like the waves and ripples. 

He opened his eyes. He wasn’t surprised at his surroundings, he’d been slightly conscious the past few days, but he never was able to really get a sense of where he was. He pushed himself up on the bed. He was in a house, and by the view out of the broken window, he was on the second floor. The condition of the room was not good, but it was good enough. He assumed that the rest of the house was the same. There were floorboards sticking up, the window was broken, leaves had blown in. The place had to have been abandoned for years, but it was still standing.

The smell of both Himchan and Yongguk was still lingering around the bed, but they must have gotten up earlier. It was still before noon, but lazy mornings weren’t really an option for them. Youngjae felt the lingering traces of pain from the past few days, just an ache that he felt throughout his whole body. There was grumbling in his stomach and it brought Youngjae’s attention to his hunger. He pushed himself up from the bed and stumbled towards the door, his body felt weak. It was probably either due to the hardship of the last few days or the hunger that now clouded his entire mind. 

He supported himself heavily on the railing on his way down the stairs, careful to jump over the missing step, the pitfalls making his traversing downwards much more dangerous. He reached the first floor, stepping immediately into the main room. The downstairs of the house had no inner walls, at least not anymore. There were clearly parts of the outer walls at well that would need patching. Youngjae was just happy that the building was standing.

Himchan and Yongguk were discussing something around a table, Yongguk sitting, Himchan standing on the other side. When Youngjae stepped off of the stairs they looked over at him, and their conversation cut off. Their stressed whispers ended. 

“How are you feeling?” Yongguk asked immediately, both of them scanning over his to try and assess his state from physical appearance. 

“Hungry.” Youngjae said, and rubbed at his head. He started trying to piece together everything from the past few days. He vaguely remembered parts of the days, but most of it was lost in a complete haze. 

“Here.” Himchan came over to him and supported him to the table and onto the bench around it. Youngjae hadn’t realised that he’d been supporting himself on the railing, he still felt unstable and was thankful for Himchan’s care. Himchan action reminded him of everything that Himchan had done for him throughout his heat. He remembered Himchan feeding him and forcing him to drink water, along with the occasions that Himchan would pleasure him. Youngjae expected to feel some kind of discomfort with that after the fact, but instead he it just felt like normal, it felt right. 

Yongguk offered Youngjae some berries. “This is all we have at the moment.” Youngjae whispered thanks in response and started to eat. He made sure to eat slowly because he didn’t want to throw up. 

“Is your heat done?” Himchan asked.

Youngjae nodded, too focused on eating to respond with words. He swallowed a berry, then asked a question of his own. “How long was it?”

“Four days.” Yongguk answered.

Youngjae hung his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not something to be sorry about Youngjae. It’s a fact of life that we all go through.” Yongguk reprimanded the younger again. 

“What were you two talking about earlier?” Youngjae switched the topic. Yongguk and Himchan shared a look, then Himchan answered.

“Figuring out what we have to do to be ready for winter.” After HImchan said that, Youngjae realized how close it was. Based on the condition of the house, winter was going to be hard. And they only had so much time before it hit them full force. Youngjae felt a clock start counting down in his head.

“Well what are our priorities? We need shelter, food, and water first.” Youngjae approached from the rational angle, he wouldn’t let the prospect of the oncoming cold stress him too much.

“First, we need to mark our territory.” Yongguk said. “I’ve been working on that the past few days, and only have two more packs nearby to contact, which should take me all day.” 

“What do me and Himchan need to do?” Youngjae naturally gravitated towards Yongguk as a leader, asking him for instructions. 

“We need a clear path to the spring nearby, and the house has to be repaired. We’ll need wood for fires. I can hunt while I’m out, you two are useless anyway.” Yongguk smiled. Youngjae almost defended himself or Himchan, but he remembered their helplessness over the past month. The chances of them catching game were much lower than Yongguk’s. 

“We can take care of it. I’ll clear the path, there are a lot of rocks and I don’t think Youngjae’s strong enough yet for that.” Himchan said, looking to Youngaje for confirmation. Youngjae wasn’t ashamed, and nodded back. His muscles still felt weak, it would be another day until he would be back to normal. 

“Okay.” Yongguk stood up from the table, “I’ll be back before sundown. Youngjae, there’s a shed hidden away in the woods on the way to the spring, we haven’t had time to check it out, but try and see if there’s anything useful.” Youngjae nodded, and Yongguk left.

“Here, I’ll show you the shed.” Himchan waved to him to get him to move up out of his seat. Youngjae followed him outside. They headed east into the forest. It was only maybe thirty or forty feet before they found the shed. It was covered in vines and ivy. It looked very worn down, but otherwise in good shape. It was protected by all the trees around it from severe damage, unlike the house. “You sure you feel good enough to do work?” 

“I’ll be careful. And if anything happens, you’re not far away.” Youngjae answered.

“I’ll come by and check on you every few hours, but Yongguk is right. We have a lot to get done.”

“I know.” Youngjae nodded.

“Good luck.” Himchan glanced towards the shed, clearly glad that he wasn’t the one to have to sift through all the vines and bugs. He started down the path further, leaving Youngjae behind with his duty. 

Youngjae turned to the shed. Part of him wanted to begin by ripping all the vines off, but that would upset the integrity of the building, the vines probably attached so firmly to the weak wood that they were the only thing holding it upright. Instead he focused just on getting through the door. He pulled some vines out of the way, careful not to pull too hard. Youngjae had to pull hard to open the door, the hinges were not used to moving. It had been long enough for them to rust and the squeaky noise of the hinges was grating. 

Youngjae forced his way into the shed. Inside he could tell that animals had been making their burrows in here for ears, there were little nests and spider webs all over the space. Youngjae swallowed his disgust and started searching through all the dirt and grime for human-made tools. He found them. Well made iron tools, with relatively little damage, maybe only needing a replacement handle, but otherwise in good condition. He grabbed as many tools as he could and took them, a few at a time, back to the clearing in front of the house. He would assess what they had once he had everything in front of him. 

As he was carrying a few tools back, he walked by the back of the house. He saw, hidden under more vines and blown up leaves and stick, the looks of a cellar. That would need further investigation. He focused on the task at hand. He would wait for Himchan or Yongguk before he ventured to see what was down there. He wasn’t surprised that they missed the doors, they were well hidden under all the debris, but Youngjae had a sharp eye. 

He took the last shipment of tools to the clearing in front of the house, but headed back to the shed before taking stock. He wanted to make sure there was nothing left. Back in the shed he pushed leaves and debris around with his feet or hands, looking for anything else. As he was brushing through the leaves with his foot, it hit something hard that made the distinct sound of jostling metal when it moved. He bent down and picked it up, it was a heavy box, clearly filled with more good. Youngjae didn’t open it yet, it was too hard to see inside the shed. He shuffled around some more things, and finding nothing headed back to the clearing. 

When he got back to the clearing he looked up at the sky. The sun was almost half way, maybe an hour had passed. He looked out at all the tools sitting in the sun, then turned to the box. In it were a collection of smaller things, like hinges, keys, locks, and, to Youngjae’s glee, nails, and a lot of them. It had been his first concern looking at the house. They had all the access to wood that they could want, but they had no way to nail it down. He looked to the other tools.

All in all, there was a collection of a shovel, many types of saws, hammers, a hoe, a rake, a few axes, a pickax, and surprisingly enough, a crowbar. Most of the tools were rusty and dull, but Youngjae could clean and sharpen them well enough. Youngjae picked up the ax first, knowing they would need wood in the coming days, and settled down on the doorstep to the house. He pulled out his whetstone and got to work. 

As he sharpened the dull blade, Youngjae began to do something he hadn’t done in a long time. He began to sing. They were songs that he vaguely remembered from his mother’s clan, form when he was very young. He hadn’t been raised in the Bang clan, only joining it after a plague ravaged the Yoo clan, leaving its members helpless and scattered to the wind. They were folk songs, sung form many generations in the past. Stories about the land, about the spirits of nature, about the tales of people long passed. He hummed the words he didn’t remember, and made up new tunes when he forgot the intervals. 

Every since he had joined the Bang clan, all the singing around him had stopped. The Yoo clan had sung and worked all together, told stories and jokes, but the Bang clan was not like that. Youngjae had grown up in a clan that was a family, but the Bang clan was nothing like that. He’d been sitting around one day, and started humming a tune, and everyone around him had just stared, one even telling him to shut up. He didn’t sing after that. But here, in the woods all along, the notes came back to him, everything resonated through his head, and he let it out. 

He moved from song to song for a while, then fell into silence after the first verse of one, forgetting the second. All was quiet for a few seconds, then he heard an answering voice, continuing to sing the song. 

“Tell her to make me a cambric shirt.” Youngjae looked up, and Himchan was singing, he knew the words for the second verse. Youngjae joined in for the next line.

“Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.” Youngjae took the upper harmony, and Himchan the lower, both of them singing the folk tune together. No words passed between them, but the look in their eyes was enough. 

Youngjae didn’t know the next line and let Himchan take over again. “Without a seam or needlework.”

Then he joined in again for the chorus: “Then she’ll be a true love of mine.” 

The third verse came back to Youngjae and he continued the song: “Tell him to buy me an acre of land.” Both Himchan and Youngjae switched between harmony and melody at will. “Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.” They knew the melody without even having to sing it, both of them harmonizing with a melody only in their head. “Between the salt water and the sea sand.” When one forgot the lines, the other would take over, one simply humming a bass line instead. “Then he’ll be a true love of mine.” 

They continued to sing. Youngjae had put the ax down, simply singing into HImchan eyes from across the clearing. Himchan had advanced from the tree line slowly as the song developed, and by the time they hit the last line, Himchan was right on top of Youngjae. Youngjae hadn’t moved, letting Himchan come to him. “Then he’ll be a true love of mine.” The song faded into silence as Youngjae repeated the last line, Himchan already quiet.

Himchan settled his knee on the doorstep, and bent over Youngjae. The younger tilted backwards to accommodate the figure hovering over him. Youngjae’s breath quickened, not from fear, but anticipation. Himchan’s eyes held secrets in them, and Youngjae couldn’t pull away, it was entrancing and addicting. 

Himchan lifted up his hand and caressed down Youngjae cheek to lightly hold his chin. He tilted Youngjae face up with a gentle hand, and, with the speed of rock being ground into sand, he leaned in. Youngjae’s breath stopped, his heart beating with the pace of a thousand horses. He waited, eyes blown to the size of walnuts. 

Himchan’s lips lightly brushed against his, a soft, benign kiss, before he pulled back slightly. The rest of his body didn’t move after the kiss, he still held Youngjae’s chin and hovered over him. Youngjae pulled in a needed breath through his open mouth when Himchan’s lips left his. He gasped, shocked by the chaste contact, but also by the advance in their relationship to each other. 

Youngjae didn’t notice himself saying anything, until he felt Himchan’s response. He gasped out, in a breathy and wanting voice, a soft, barely audible, “Please.” Himchan, as an answer tightened his grip on Youngjae’s chin, his pupils dilating, his breath coming faster. 

“Tonight, my little songbird, not now.” Himchan answered, his control impeccable. Himchan pulled away from Youngjae, sitting down on the step next to him. Youngjae looked over at him. 

“You know folk songs?” His eyebrows were drawn together in confusion. HImchan had been in the Bang clan, so there was no way he would’ve known those songs.

“I wasn’t always part of the Bang pack.” Himchan glanced over and met Youngjae’s eyes, then returned to looking out at the clearing. “My parents were Kims.” 

Each pack had a certain name, but the name Kim didn’t refer to just one pack. It referred to small groups, normally families that were bonded together, they normally didn’t have territory or as much structure as the fully formed clans. Some called them nomads, some called them gypsies. 

“We stayed with the Bang pack one winter for shelter, and I haven’t seen any of my family since.” Himchan looked down at his hands.

“How long ago?” Youngjae asked.

“It’s been fourteen years. I was too young. They felt bad killing me.”

“I’m surprised you remembered the song.” 

“We sang them all the time, so how could I forget? Every night around the fire, we would drum and sing all together.” 

“No dancing?” Youngjae asked, thinking back to his own experiences of the folk songs. In the Yoo pack, they had done singing and dancing and drumming around the fire, but sang as they worked, as they went through the day.

Himchan looked over at Youngjae confused, “Dancing?”

“For that one we hardly danced, but for the others we did. We made anklets with small pieces of metal or jewelry that made noise when we danced. We had sashes too. Only some were taught the dances, so every night, when it came time to sing, you would go out and dance around the campfire, everyone clapping, drumming, and singing as you spun.” Youngjae remembered all the lessons he got from his aunt, how to sway your body, the correct direction to turn. One or two of each generation would learn the dances, no more. 

“Youngjae, would you dance for me?” Himchan whispered his question.

“Tonight, not now.” Youngjae smiled as he spoke, using Himchan’s own words against him. The elder looked put off, but backed off anyway.

“I see that you got everything out of the shed.” Himchan looked over all the tools decorating the clearing in front of their house.

“I’m just working on sharpening everything and getting them in better condition. Then I’ll get some firewood. How’s the path coming?”

“There are a lot of boulders, so they’re a pain to move. But it shouldn’t take the whole day.” 

Youngjae nodded in response.

“After I’m done I’ll try and find some food for you. I know you’re not back to full strength yet.” Himchan stood up, brushing himself off. “Stay safe.” He looked down at Youngjae when he said that, piling all his care for the younger into just those two words.

“You too.” Youngjae said in response and Himchan headed back into the woods.

Youngjae picked up the ax, examining the edge. It was sharp and smooth. The rust on it’s edge was worn away and the metal looked shiny and new just on the edge. He stood up, then headed into the woods. He remembered seeing a fallen tree on the path between the house and the shed, he could chop up some pieces of it.

Youngjae worked on collecting wood for many hours, piling it up beside the house, they would need a good store of dry wood for fires. He tried to think of a good place to protect the wood from the weather, but there wasn’t an obvious choice. After he turned much of the fallen tree into firewood, he returned to the rest of the trunk and began to cut it into boards, preparing already for the amount of repairs that the house would need in the coming weeks. It took less than a half hour for him to get sweaty, but after a few hours had passed, his skin was glistening under the sun. He put the ax down. He hoped that Himchan had some way of bringing water back to the house because he didn’t want to have to walk all the way to the stream for it at this point. 

He carried the rest of the boards and the ax back to the clearing in front of the house and dumped them on the leaves and grass. He went to sit down on the doorstep again to take a break from his work, but there was something in his way. Lying on top of the doorstep was a deer, not one too large, but not a small one either. Youngjae froze in shock. In the entire past month, Yongguk never managed to catch something this big. He moved closer. The body was entirely lifeless and the doorstep was stained with the blood coming from the wound on the deer’s side. 

Youngjae felt energy coursing through his body again. This was a gift from mother nature, bringing this deer to them, he couldn’t imagine the pride Yongguk must’ve felt when he managed to take it down. Instead of sitting down on the step, Youngjae hopped over it and went into the house. He brushed off the table in the main room that he’d walked into that morning, it would have to work for cutting apart the deer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original story is copyright 2019, all rights reserved

**Author's Note:**

> Updated every Monday.
> 
> Original story is copyright 2019, all rights reserved


End file.
